The Mayo Incident
Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.
Well, I was actually the baby of the family, I have two older sisters so I never really got to do much of anything mean to them. Not to mention that I really don't like confrontation and causing bad mojo so I try to stay on the down low.
My sisters, on the other hand, used to torture the shit out of me when I was little. This is the record of one such incident.
I used to love yogurt. It was one of my favorite treats, never mind that it was pretty healthy (compared to some of the other crap I like. :) My favorite kind is the fruit-at-the-bottom kind. Peach, strawberry, blueberry, banana, pineapple, and so on - I love almost all of the flavors.
Well, one day I went rooting through the 'fridge looking for something to munch on. I spied with my wandering eye a yogurt cup on the 'fridge door and decided 'Hey! Munchy!' When I picked up the cup, I noticed that the lid to it was loose... that should have been a warning sign... but I'm naive. Go figure. I thought that someone had opened it to eat it and then decided not to. Yes. Naive.
That little voice inside my head said 'It's a trap!'
I stabbed that voice with a Q-tip.
I spooned a nice big heap of 'yogurt' into my mouth and then something strange happened. My autonomic nervous functions failed for what felt like an eternity. Let me explain... I was expecting a delightfully yogurty-fruity taste explosion... what I got was the horrible taste of mayonaisse. Or to more accurately describe it... 'the flavor of a thousand rotting kitten corpses'. I've never been a big fan of mayo. I only like it in chicken or shrimp salad, and that's it. Mayonaisse in its pure, unadulterated form is the antithesis of everything holy in the world.
That moment, that eternity, became a world of pure revulsion.
I shit you not.
A second later, I spit out that awful mass and gagged and gagged and gagged. Now, I don't remember (unfortunately) if either of my sisters were there. I seem to remember hysterical laughter - but there's been so many times where I've endured their hysterical laughter that its all blurred together to me now. I could have just imagined it, but I don't think so. Nor do I know which of my sisters actually pulled that prank.
There's actually been quite a few different 'incidents'. From the Red Hots Incident to waking me up early on a Saturday morning telling me, "You're late for school!" The horrors, I tell you, the horrors!
But it's ok though, baby brother got them back many times over now. :) My inane ramblings drive them crazy - just how I like it - and I don't plan to ever stop.